Faith

I went to church today. The mass went like the typical Sunday mass that I go to every week. The priest's homily still didn't get to me because I was actually day dreaming instead of listening. But today, when the priest told us to bow our heads and pray, as I closed my eyes, I only thought of praying for you.

Sana po mabawasan yung sakit at lungkot na alam kong nararamdaman nya na dulot ko at ng mga pagkakamali ko sa kanya. Tulungan nyo po kaming maging malakas sa lahat ng pagsubok na dadating sa amin. Alam ko po matigas ang ulo ko. Na kahit po ipakita nyo sa akin ngayon na dapat ko syang pakawalan ay hindi ko pa rin po gagawin. Pero this time po, kung yun po ang dapat, susundin ko po kayo. Kayo po ang higit na nakakaalam kung ako talaga ang para sa kanya. Mahal na mahal ko po sya. At gusto ko po syang maging masaya palagi.

Today, I broke to tears and told Tita that we've been fighting a lot lately. I told her that it's getting hard and I'm not sure I can do it anymore. She told me to just be strong and everything will be fine. She said that if we really are for each other, God will find a way. I'm starting to doubt that it will. But I hope she's right again this time.