I have asked that question a few times before and I've always been stuck for a reply. I've continuously searched for an answer and at this moment, I finally admitting that perhaps I am not.
I am not happy. I have a job that I don't even like. I have no friends I can drink or party with. I have crazy long relationship that's full of dishonesty. My everyday life feels like a routine. I can simply say that I actually don't have a life. And as a result, I seek happiness in material possessions. I buy pricey stuff to comfort myself. I impulsively buy costly things to conceal my sadness. But even if I balance happiness with money, and however comfort my credit cards give me, I know someday it's going to end. Someday I'm gonna be drowned with debt and where else can I get happiness from? Where else can I turn to?
I'm sick of being me. I'm tired of concealing this frustration with stupid laughs. I am not happy. I am exhausted.
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